Reverse culture shock + This will make you cry, but in a good way
Published 27 days agoΒ β’Β 11 min read
Hi Reader,
I am on my way home via Singapore after 2 weeks in Bali and my heart is full of great memories.
It is always very nice to see old faces again and despite the weather didn't cooperate on a couple of days, the Balinese warmth and the truly breathtaking landscapes can make up for pretty much anything... and I couldn't thank the super easygoing and lovely group who were with us and who made the most of the rainy time to appreciate the beautiful moment shared.
Plus we have the kindest host with the most beautiful heart, see her and I below!
Me and Henni, our local host in Bali
I spent 2 extra days scouting the remote parts of east Bali with Henni to find a stunning hotel to spend a night there in 2026 and I know next year's itinerary will be even better, if that is at all possible, than this year's. Stay tuned.
We have 2 spots left on our October trip (August is sold out). Check out the itinerary here and join the waitlist to be the first to know when the 2026 tour goes live.
This week I wanted to reflect on the reverse culture shock of going back home after almost 20 years as an expat. The things that surprise me the most about Spain and the challenges of, essentially, rebuilding my life, as if I was an expat in my own homeland
I shed many tears watching the mini documentary filmed this March in Kilimanjaro during our annual climb. The work that we have been doing with Glory, or lead guide, and her Tanzania Women Guides Foundation to bring more women to the mountain and to safaris as guides and porters is only just starting, but it is making an enormous difference. You HAVE to watch it. Because we all need a bit more hope to believe we can improve things.
Reverse culture shock - Home after 20 years as an expat
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The date came and went unnoticed, but on February 16th, as I was sailing the Drake Passage to Antarctica, I quietly celebrated my expat anniversary: 20 years since I left Spain.
A lot has happened since that 25 year old me boarded a plane to Dubai, and in the process, I have grown as a person, changed career 3 times, lived in 3 cities and settled for Solo Female Travelers as my dream job and life's project.
Now that I am spending more time in Spain, and easing back into the lifestyle that I grew up in, I am faced with what is usually referred to as "reverse culture shock", "the emotional and psychological difficulty experienced upon returning home after living abroad for an extended period".
Even though I am going back home, the familiarity is not there anymore, and I find myself not fitting in and, at times, having to relearn my own traditions.
I have changed; home has also changed and I no longer fit in my own culture.
I have been thinking about this a lot in the last few months, and here are some of the things I noticed.
π₯π₯ Eating sooo late
The most obvious challenge of going back home to Spain is the late eating times.
I have breakfast really early, lunch at 12,30pm and dinner at 7pm. In Spain, lunch is not earlier than 1,30pm. I went on a date the other day and he had booked lunch at 2,30pm! Needless to say, I was starving and managed to convince him to compromise with lunch at 1,45pm.
Having dinner with friends means meeting after 9pm, a struggle when you consider I ate lunch at 12,30pm. In the summertime, dinner is even later.
If I want to party, I need to stay up until at least midnight to get a drink at a bar, and go to a club no earlier than 2am or I will be alone.
It is harder than I anticipated to unlearn my eating habits and come back to what is normal in Spain. Lunch at 1,30-2pm, dinner at 9-10pm.
βοΈβοΈ "Normal" people don't travel all the time
I have lived in primarily expat cities for these last 20 years. Cities that are full of foreigners and where everyone shares a common love for travel.
These were also very well-connected cities like Dubai and Singapore, with direct flights to dozens of destinations, and with minimal road tripping options.
Expats, and company headquarters, are based there because of the connectivity, the ease of access and the good expat "infrastructure", but their main customers are elsewhere.
Every time there was a long weekend, everyone traveled somewhere. Travel was the main topic of conversation at meals and coffee breaks.
Most of my colleagues and friends had jobs that allowed and expected them to travel, often every week. I lived in a travel bubble.
Going back home, I had to reframe this reality to what the majority of the middle class population can afford in terms of time off and financial resources: A couple of longer trips a year, an extended summer vacation with their families at a beach apartment, and a couple of short weekend getaways within Europe.
My constant traveling, and constant talk of it, sounds arrogant and standoffish, even though it is my job and my passion, and hence where I spend most of my time and money.
I find myself not being able to share this love with my friends because they may not be interested or able to relate. They aren't planning their next trip; they aren't going somewhere for the weekend.
They have children, limited vacation time and a job that is 9 to 6 and filled with routine and a lot of "the expected".
I miss my international group of friends, the multi-cultural environment and the shared love for discovering the world and planning a trip.
But most importantly, I need to reframe the conversations and find other hobbies in common with my old friends, and perhaps find new ones that share my passion for travel too.
ππ Missing a multi-cultural environment
I touched upon this a bit already but, being an expat, in a city where there are many other expats like me, while working for an international company within a multi-cultural team, and for customers from all over the world, has meant that I have always been surrounded by different ways to see the world.
I was thinking about this the other day and I estimate that I have probably worked with more than 1,000 different people from more than 80 countries, and this has made my last 20 years incredibly enriching.
You can't take ways of thinking or frameworks for seeing the world for granted when you are surrounded with people with a different upbringing and background to yours, because you don't have a shared baseline.
This means that every conversation is an opportunity to grown and learn, and can also be an intellectual challenge.
Going back home, to a town of fewer than 30,000 inhabitants, brings down the wealth and range of cultures I get to interact with, even though my home town is an expat town and 50% of the population was born abroad.
The majority of my childhood and university friends are homogeneous, more or less like me, with similar upbringing and values.
I miss the diversity of opinions, the variability in interpretations of any event, and the globally-minded ways to approach the day to day.
I crave differences in opinions and the intellectually stimulating conversations I could have with someone who thinks completely differently to me.
ππ Remembering the quirks of Spanish and Catalan life
For someone who has lived abroad for so long, I am proud to have maintained a lot of my culture and traditions alive, but a lot has been lost that I am only now rediscovering.
Some of these things are already making my life better.
Latin cultures are more social, more collective and provide a better safety net. This, no doubt, makes life better than individualistic societies.
I had forgotten the "good mornings" when entering a shop or crossing paths with a neighbour that are not part of Singaporean manners.
I had also forgotten the solidarity and shared sense of struggle that was also shown during COVID.
A couple of weeks ago, when the power outage sunk Spain into darkness (and lack of water and phone signal!), Meg advised me to rush to the supermarket to get food and necessities.
She has experience with power outages because Cairns suffers from typhoons that regularly bring down power lines with the subsequent raiding of supermarket shelves.
But this did not happen in Spain.
Instead, people went outside of their homes and sat down at the bars that were still open to share a drink and wait for the power to come back.
There was no panic or anxiety, rather laughter, good times and lukewarm beer. If we were going to be without power, let us at least enjoy a drink!
I was reminded of this collective feeling that Latin societies all share.
There are also painful quirks that I did not miss.
The crippling bureaucracy that sometimes makes your head spin, the constant strikes and the resignation when the (really cheap) public transportation doesn't work or is delayed without notice.
I did not miss that in efficient Singapore, but I have surely learned to appreciate you can't have it all, and something's got to give.
ππ Feeling that you have lived a thousand lives
Perhaps the strangest part of the reverse culture shock feeling is the realisation that you have lived a thousand lives, while time for your friends and family back home has moved at a much slower pace.
When you are living as intensely as you do as a global citizen of the world, traveling all the time, being regularly confronted with uncomfortable experiences and having to overcome the challenges of new situations every day, it feels as if you get to live many lives, as if you are really "using life".
Back home, friends and family evolved at a much slower pace.
They got married, they had children, they settled into a routine that makes every day blend in.
Routine turns days into weeks and weeks into months, but change is measured and slower.
This is the kind of reverse culture shock that most people report when coming home from extended time abroad.
A feeling of boredom and restlessness, of missing the excitement of the day to day when you are living a constant adventure.
This would be a much stronger shock for me if I wasn't still traveling so much for work.
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ββ Have you also gone back home after living abroad? Did you feel reverse culture shock? How did it manifest for you? I would love to hear how others cope with it. Please reply to this email and let me know.
Last spots available in this year's tours
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GREECE: 1 spot available 30 May to 6 June >> BOOK hereβ
BARCELONA & BEYOND: 1 spot available 28 June to 4 July >> Book hereβ
TANZANIA SAFARI + ZANZIBAR: 1 Spot left 13 to 23 June AND 29 August to 8 September >> Book hereβ
SCOTLAND: 2 spots left 11 to 19 October >> Book hereβ
BALI: 2 spots left 11 to 19 October >> Book hereβ
AUSTRALIA: 2 spots left 11 to 22 October >> Book hereβ
Our porters, carrying supplies, equipment and luggage to the top
Every year, we summit Kilimanjaro on International Women's Day with an all-female team of guides and a majority female porters led by our superstar local guide Glory.
These porters and guides have been in training with us and Glory for years, as part of our efforts to bring more employment opportunities to women who didn't have the financial independence they and their families need.
This year, we also had a videographer and photographer join them to capture the emotions, the struggles and the raw feeling of climbing Africa's tallest mountain while carrying more than just the weight of a backpack.
For many of the guests, the real weight is that of a life's dream, a personal struggle or the need to overcome a challenge.
For the porters and guides, it is the weight of society's expectations, the mountain of disapproving looks from those around them, and the stubbornness to prove them all wrong.
Year after year since 2021, everyone makes it to the top, carrying with them the thousands of women who are living in unequal environments, who are trapped in bad situations or who can't have access to opportunities.
This mini documentary put together by Bea Kopacz is a testament to the extremely hard work Glory has been doing for the last decade and which we are only supporting since 2021.
If you ever feel impotent with the world's inequality and need a reminder of how much impact the work of a single person can have, watch this video.
If you ever needed proof that the world is full of amazing people doing great things, and not just of hatred, bigotry and idiots (excuse my straight talk), like the media sometimes has us believing, watch the video.
If you need a good cry, watch this video.
If you are keen to climb Kilimanjaro and want to know how the climb really looks like, watch this video.
Or just join us up the mountain in 2026, we will be there, will you join us? SEE TRIP DETAILSβ
Exciting new flight routes from the US. Read here. PS you can come see me in Spain with Jetblue.
Most common second languages around the world. Read here.β
Travelers arriving in Ecuador now need to show a yellow fever certificate if youβre coming from a country listed as a transmission risk and have been in one of those countries 10 days or more.
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Sending love from Singapore and Australia. We hope you have a great week ahead π«Ά
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